Oh What An Illusion Can Do
by TheBitterSweetArtist14
Summary: “Raven…” he whispered into my ear, his hot breath caressing my whole neck. It felt like millions of tiny needles were pricking it. My stomach did a summersault, as I tried desperately to keep my eyes from rolling backward in ecstasy.[Chapter 3 Pending]
1. Tricked

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans and I probably never will.

Summery: This might end up being a One-shot, or I might continue it as a chapter story. It all depends upon the number of reviews I get for the story and my mood.

In this story- Raven has had feelings for Robin for a long time, and finally one winter night on top of the Titans Tower, she lets all of her pent up feelings for him out, freeing them from her soul. But what about Robin's girlfriend StarFire? And what about Robin? Does he feel the same about Raven?

**((Chapter 1))**

"**Tricked"**

Dreams sometimes never come true. But that night, I really thought that all of mine would.

I was naïve; I was foolish. I admit that now. All of my life, I had been taught the truths of the world- I had been exposed to it's cold core, it's evil nature. Emotions were forbidden- relationships and friends were a waste of time. Love and Lust, Marriage and Happiness were all not meant for me. The world was a cold, meaningless existence, and I was merely there by accident.

But all of these truths, engraved in my mind were washed away from me, as if they never existed. My body so close to his, it seemed as if my whole mind went blank, juts as a chill ran down my spine.

"Raven…" he whispered into my ear, his hot breath caressing my whole neck. It felt like millions of tiny needles were pricking it. My stomach did a summersault, as I tried desperately to keep my eyes from rolling backward in ecstasy. It was almost midnight, and the cold winter air around me made his breath even more inviting. But I had to resist. My powers would never allow anything like this to happen between us, especially considering his current girlfriend was StarFire; the closet friend at the Tower I had at the time. I didn't want to ruin their relationship, not to mention risk a power overload.

But my emotions for him were just too strong.

"Raven…' he whispered once more, this time his mouth closer to my neck. I stood still, as still as a stone statue, resisting the urge to respond to him. I couldn't. I wouldn't. But my resolve was soon broken by the delicate kiss he placed upon my neck, and by his arm wrapping around my waist. A gasp escaped my lips.

Did he really feel this way about me? Did he really love me? Questions arose in my mind, as he continued to plant kisses upon my neck. I felt one of his hands slide from my waist to downward, where it lightly touched my inner thigh. A tremor went throughout my whole body, as again, another gasp leaked out. "Oh God..." I murmured aloud as my body betrayed me.

One of darkest secrets was my love for Robin, which I had carefully hidden for the past two years. But when he started to officially date StarFire, my dreams and love for him where subdued. How could I love anyway- with my out of control powers? To me, the answer was simple; I couldn't. So I suppressed all of my emotions for him down inside of me, and locked them away for good. Or so I had thought.

Robin's other hand moving up from my waist forced my tightly shut eyes open. I knew where he was going with this, and before his hand reached my right breast, I broke away from him and stepped back almost four feet. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I demanded, fuming.

"What? You didn't like it?" he questioned with confusion present on his masked face.

"No I did not! What gave you that idea!" I screamed at him. Again his overly cocky grin flashed as he took a step closer to me.

"Well…the moaning sure made it sound like you enjoyed it..." he answered laughing. At this my eyes grew large. I was moaning!

"That doesn't matter. What about StarFire? What about your girlfriend!" I was desperately trying to change the subject and cover up the fact that I enjoyed what he had begun to try to do to me. I couldn't let him think that I liked him or had feelings for him at all- that would have just made things more complicated. And I secretly wanted and needed to know what exactly had made him kiss me.

"I know this all might hurt her, but Raven- ever since I found out you liked me, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you." Pure honesty. I could tell that statement apart from the rest, bearing in mind the fact that I WAS a telepath. "I think I'm in love with you," he added, his cocky expression wiped from his face. I couldn't believe my ears. He had known that I liked him? Since when? Had it been that obvious? But beyond this, I also wondered about how he had gone from totally loving StarFire, to never missing a moment without thinking about me. He seemed to be sincere about loving me- but could I really trust him?

Again he stepped forward towards me, thinking that I would easily be swayed. But I would not. No amount of his magic, "Forget StarFire" words could get me to not think of my poor friend, who obviously had a very untrustworthy boyfriend.

Another step. Only mere inches divided us. I wasn't going to let him do this. I wasn't going to let him ruin his relationship with StarFire for the likes of me. In fact, I was about to bombard him with another row of continuous questioning, when suddenly, before I could, he stepped forward once more and grabbed my waist. He pulled me close to him, his body pressed against mine, and his lips met mine in a hungry, passionate kiss. Oh God I wanted him. I wanted him Badly. His tongue was pushing and prodding, trying to enter my mouth. Was I dreaming? Was Robin really kissing me so hungrily?

Nothing made sense to me anymore. Robin didn't make sense to me anymore. His tongue was in my mouth; I could feel it moving rapidly, caressing everything it touched, and tickling the roof of my mouth. His hands ran all over my body, touching every curve they could find, and every sensitive spot they could use to arouse me. Like wild fire he moved- burning sensations covering my body in the places he had once been. It was wrong – it was so very wrong. But at the same time, it was all of my dreams coming true at once. It was everything I had ever wanted.

Maybe Robin did love me- maybe he did want me. StarFire could break up with him painlessly, and Robin and I could be together. And as long as I controlled my emotions and stopped them from going to the extremes- what did it matter?

I finally convinced my self that kissing Robin was the right thing to do- and that he really did love me. All of my resistance to him melted away in his fiery touch- my iron will bent and broken. I gave in, and started to kiss him back, but with more urgency than I had ever felt before. I wanted this. I needed this.

Smiling in between a kiss, Robin unclasped my cape from my back and laid it down on the concrete roof of the tower. Slowly he pushed me down on top of my cape, and his kisses started to move down from my lips, face, and neck, and then further and further…

His body weighed heavily down upon me as he smiled again and began to pull down the top of my skintight leotard. And as the icy night air touched my bare skin, I shut my eyes tightly. 'This is it…' I thought to myself. 'No going back'.

But then, at that time, it didn't occur to me how horrible of a mistake I was making…

* * *

Authors Note: Okay- so that's it. That's all I have so far- and no I don't have a clue as to whether or not I'm writing another chapter, SO DON'T ASK ME. Right now, all I need is some input. Share your two cents if you wish. Should I keep this story as it is, a One Shot- or should I add more chapters and continue?

Grammar, Spelling and overall reader input is welcome, I don't take that sort of thing as flames, as long as it makes sense and you aren't totally saying useless and incorrect corrections. Your time and effort in this is appreciated- thanks a bunch.

And don't forget to review, review, and review!

See you in the Ninth level of hell-

BitterSweetArtist14


	2. Stripped and Exposed

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Teen Titans- nor will I ever.

**Summery:** Well- I decided to continue this story and see where exactly it lead me- considering the only 8 reviews I got for the last chapter. However, I do suppose eight is better than none at all. To all of you who reviewed I'd like to personally thank you- maybe I will continue this story.  
So far- weighing her situation, I'd say that Raven is in quite a spot- for sleeping with her friends boyfriend. Let us see how the story continues shall we?

**((Chapter 2))  
"Stripped and Exposed"**

**"Shame (sh­­āme) n. A painful feeling of embarrassment or disgrace brought on by doing something wrong; dishonor; disgrace; a disappointment. "  
-Webster's Dictionary-**

God- I was slime. The filth of the earth, so unworthy to be alive. Regret hung heavy in the air and weighed me down as I sat up from the cold concrete, naked and freezing. Frost lined the outer rim of my cape, and caked the tops of the blankets Robin had brought up in the middle of the night to keep us warm. My hair was in knots, and my body ached.

Robin snuggled there, underneath the blankets, still sleeping and unaware of my distress. As far as he was concerned- last night was the best Fuck he had ever had, or so he had told me afterwards, as he continued to plant kisses on my body. For the longest time after, he held me close and whispered into my ear that he loved me, and would never love anyone as much as he cherished me.

In return I nodded, and let him massage my form continuously until at long last, we both fell asleep. But waking to the bright warming sunrise was almost like waking to a hangover- all of the sweet moments of last night became bitter, as did my thoughts. I started to logically realize what I had actually done- consciousness creeping in.

How could I live with myself? I betrayed my friend- I slept with her boyfriend. What would StarFire think of me now- the slut I was?

I looked over at the pile of clothes near me, and spied my ripped leotard, torn to shreds. Obviously I couldn't wear _that thing _anymore. Robin rolled over next to me, and smiled in his sleep. Half of his bare torso was uncovered, revealing his sculpted muscular body. His dark black hair flapped over his face, while his arms searched for my form. They found nothing but air. I had long since moved away from him defiantly, and sat at least two feet to the left.

I jumped up- cold and full of regret, and grabbed my torn clothes as I looked sadly at his figure. Silently I shook my head. He would be waking up alone this morning.

My eyes stung as a cold wind blustered in the opposite direction of me, and blew my hair into my face. But as suddenly as I was standing there, I was gone, my familiar Black Raven form lifting me up and the pulling me down through the concrete roof.

As soon as I teleported to my room, I fell to my knees- and fought to hold back my tears. Using my powers- I levitated my clothes and threw them into my trash. Shame was what I felt now- unbelievable shame. StarFire would never forgive me for what I did, and neither would I. I let him have me. I let him inside of me.

I gave my virginity to the one person I shouldn't have- my leader, my friend, and the man I did not rightly deserve to even kiss. I gave it all to Robin. The tears started to flow, as I fought to keep my emotions in check. I could feel him on me- I could feel the places where he had once been, the places he had touched.

I wanted to wash him away- the memory of him on top of me, and the memory of him inside of me. But I knew it was impossible to. Still naked, I slide open my bedroom door violently and limped to the bathroom only feet away. I was going to clean it all away. The Sin. The Lust. The Pleasure.

The hot water felt like thousands of needles stabbing me in the back, as I closed my eyes tightly. My salty hot tears mixed with the showers water, as I scrubbed my body clean of him; I cleansed myself of Robin.

But even I realized that no amount of physical washing would completely rinse my soul clean of my previous immoral sin, my mind was scarred forever. What hurt most was that I knew that I had enjoyed every second of last night, and even screamed when he made me climax. How could I have done such a horrible thing…How could I have committed such a horrible crime?

I scrubbed and I scrubbed- my skin turning red in some spots as I continued to furiously rub the soap bar I grasped in my hand hard against my skin. Every speck of the dirt of him had to come off.

I gasped as I turned the water in the shower to cold- trying to shock my body into answering with some sort of response. My back arched as the water stung my skin. A wave of pain shot through my body, until finally I shut the water off.

As I stepped out of the shower, I teleported back to my room, and hastily dressed in the other spare Leotard I had in my closet. Could I even bring myself to look at StarFire again the same way? Would her pleading eyes break my careful control I had on my emotions and myself? There was only one way to find out.

I silently walked out of my room and towards the Titans living room. Three strong life forces radiated in the distance. One I knew I could trust; Cyborg. One I knew I needed to steer clear of; Beast Boy. And the last- I knew I needed to apologize to; StarFire.

I could tell her everything- she would understand right? She would understand surely. Robin seduced me- he made me do it. 'StarFire I'm so sorry...' I rehearsed in my mind as I stepped into the room. 'I didn't know what I was doing- I had no way out...'

I had it all planned- I would beg for her forgiveness, then tell her that the only way to reconcile the situation would be for us to both confront Robin about what he had done.

But just as soon as I had it all planned out- one look into StarFire's eyes told me to not say one word. The innocence, the purity. Did I dare tell her something that might possibly shatter her world?

I couldn't bring myself to carry out my plan. I would just have to live with the guilt and the shame. Carefully, I opened up a tea packet and let it slip gracefully into the mug of hot water I had prepared. The leaves inside released a calming aroma as they continued to color the previously clear water. I walked over to the couch, and sat down carefully, sipping my tea quietly.

Not five feet from me, Beast Boy and Cyborg competed together in a head to head competition, trying desperately to knock each other's cars off the virtual racetrack that they played on so often. They shouted at each other, yelling threats and laughed along the way. My head throbbed with an on-coming headache.

Next to the boys, StarFire laughed with glee as the boys played, her eyes equally glued to the screen. She clapped her hands and giggled as she watched, half seated on the giant red couch. She had no idea of what had previously taken place last night, and smiled in blissful ignorance.

How could I corrupt that? How could I bear to tell her the truth? I couldn't. I wouldn't. In my mind I fought for control as it continued it's inward battle to decide weather or not I should tell StarFire about her cheating boyfriend. Logic told me yes- but my own heart told me No. I didn't want her to get hurt so badly. I feared for her happiness.

But what was the price of ignorance? Living a peaceful, blissful lie? Not knowing the painful truth-which would certainly put a permanent sore in her heart? Could I let my friend have her heart broken?

God- could I tell her I was the cause of all of this misery? Could I tell her that I wasn't forced- and still seem so helpful and trustworthy? No. None of it would work out. I couldn't tell her. I bit my tongue and drank my tea- silent yet watching.

"Hey Rae-" Cyborg said as he looked over quickly at me. "Where were you last night- StarFire and I went to get you because we were all going to go to the movies, but couldn't find you OR Robin." At this I almost spat out my tea. It burned my mouth from the inside out, and stung my tongue. Quickly I swallowed.

"I was on top of the Roof meditating for well over two hours- all of you should have known that. Especially Beast boy, he interrupted me more than four times." I spat out, my words like acid. Another lie slipped out of my mouth effortlessly as I covered my own tracks once more.

"Oh. Well that's cool. We kinda figured that." Cyborg said as he nodded understandingly. "And we all kind of figured that Robin was in his study room doing another all-nighter research on Slade." He added.

"Oh- But friend Raven- do you wish to participate in the watching of the movies tonight instead?" StarFire asked turning her head towards Raven and smiling. "It would be most enjoyable!"

"I'm not sure StarFire," I said in my usual monotone voice. "I might be set tonight- I have a lot of reading to catch up on. You guys should just go on ahead without me."

"Maybe Robin will want to come," Beast boy suggested as he twisted his controller and hit it frantically with his thumbs.

"Most likely." I agreed as I finished my tea and stood up from the large sofa. I tried to block the image I had of Robin out of my head, but failed. I saw only what I had seen last night- his naked body next to mine- moving…touching….

_Smash. _I dropped my teacup and it shattered into millions of tiny pieces. All three of the Titans looked up at me strangely.

"You okay Raven?" Beast Boy asked concerned.

"Fine," answered as I used my powers to pick up all of the tiny shards of porcelain that lay on the ground. "I didn't get much sleep last night- that's' all."

I disposed of the pieces in the trash, and levitated towards my room, covering my emotions and shaken mind convincingly with my emotionless expression. I had become far _too _good at covering my emotions and tricking them all.

* * *

Later that night, I was left alone in the Tower as all of the Titans left to go to the movies. I was the only one who refused to go. Robin had somehow miraculously snuck back into his room and changed undetected, and not a single person suspected a thing.

He walked next to StarFire as they left and kissed her on the cheek, only looking back once to me. Our eyes met, connected, and locked- sharing only a momentary second together. But in that second I unleashed a powerful emotion of anger and hate towards him-which I could tell her received fully in his mind. Clearly, he became shaken. That cocky smile he had previously plastered on his face disappeared almost instantly, and inwardly I smiled in spite. I hoped he would feel EXTREMELY guilty for what he had done. Turning, I walked slowly to my room and closed the door behind me.

They would probably make out at the movies. I knew that for sure. And if Robin was who I knew he was, he'd probably initiate it. But I didn't care- right? I didn't even want to think about it either. StarFire would be kissing the same lips I had previously kissed. Ignorantly, she would be touching the same man I had so immorally made love to….

"AAAAAAAHHHHH…." I screeched as I picked up a pile of books from my room and threw them against the wall. No- I couldn't be jealous. I wasn't Jealous. I didn't _do _envy, and how could I even be envious? I was the one who betrayed her. He was her boyfriend not mine. If anything, she should be the one jealous and angry.

I breathed in, trying to calm myself. "Azarath….Mentrion…Zinthos.." I chanted as I began to float in the air. I needed to calm myself- and I needed to get my mind off all this chaos. I used my powers to float a pile of old dusty novels next to me, and floated them around me in a circle.

Hours passed, as I continued tirelessly to read and read, farther from reality. The candles I had lit burned down to their wicks, glowing a yellow light around my room. And my eyes stung from the constant concentration, but still I continued on. Reality was far behind me as I dove into another history novel, and when I had finished I closed it's dusty cover. But as I pick up yet another, I realized something shocking.

It couldn't be. But it was. It was Malichior's book. Its white cover was a s resounding as ever, but chilling against my skin. How had it gotten into my pile of books? It couldn't be the same- I had locked that dreadful book away so long ago…

But it was. I realized this as I opened to the all-too familiar page that held his face. The white hair- the black eyes...it was him. Another man who had broken my heart looked back at me hauntingly.

"My fair Raven- to what do I owe this pleasure?" I faintly heard him ask.

"Nothing you scum bag," I answered angrily as I threw the book across the room. First it was him- the man I thought could understand my darkness, and me, and now it was Robin. Both continued to stab deep at my heart with what they had done.

"Raven? Do I detect a tone of hostility in your voice?" Malichior ask from the book half way across the room. Then I heard him chuckle. "Perhaps it's that Boy Wonder whom you slept with…who now kills you from the inside…"

Anger rose within me. "You know nothing of such matters!" a snapped heatedly.

"Ah but I do," He laughed once again. "As a wizard I can read your thoughts easily. All I could see in your mind was images of him." He was taunting me. I knew this and became even more enraged. "I hope you know he doesn't love you. No one does."

"Shut up!" I yelled as I used my powers to snap the book closed and throw it into a corner. "I don't know how you got out of the closed and sealed draw I had you in- but you're going back." The draw opened and the book fell in. A faint click locked it, and the book disappeared.

I fell to my knees once more and collapsed. Tightly I shut my eyes, trying to block everything out, but even I knew what was bothering me wasn't outside. It was all inside of me. Malichior's chilling words held such truth- that even I knew they were true. Robin had used me, just as he had done. It takes a monster to know one, and I realized this with despair.

Again- I was horribly alone. Used, abused, hurt, wounded, and damaged badly, I tried to hold back my tears. But how could I? Robin used me. Malchior used me. I was the toy that people manipulated and laughed at when I fell under their spell, that's all I was. Something to have fun with- then discard.

Stripped and Exposed- I knew truly what I was to everyone; Nothing.

* * *

**Author's Note: **

Well- yet another chapter posted and ready for review. Hopefully it wasn't too much of a disappointment to all eight of you, my reviewers.

I might consider writing another chapter- I mean; it all doesn't have to end so sadly does it? This isn't "Raven's Despair" my dear Reviewers.

So Review!

See you in the ninth level of Hell,

BitterSweetArtist14-  
(Oh Yea- I might be changing my name sometime soon- so watch out for that in the future)


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